Frogs give swine flu the kiss off

MONTHS on from the first outbreaks, swine flu is still causing havoc around the world. Just this week the vicious virus even made its way into the Opik office and infected my researcher Baz! Interestingly the Tamiflu medicine seems to have made him sicker than the disease. However, he seems to be recovering from the Tamiflu quite well now. With tens of thousands of new cases around Europe every single week some countries are taking extreme measures to try and get things under control.

Romance

In France, a country renowned for romance, the government has issued a warning against kissing! Some Paris schools have actively banned their pupils and staff from snogging. A few continental companies have come up with rather a nice idea— giving all their staff a laptop and letting them work from home. This means as well as not catching swine flu you’ve got the added bonus of being able to watch the telly while you work and check your Facebook without the boss breathing down your neck or work in your boxers while enjoying a pint! It could even help the economy as daytime shopping channel revenues
go through the roof!

You’d need to be a mug . . .

WHAT would you do if you saw someone being mugged? Call the cops? Take a photo on your phone? Jump in to help? Unfortunately a new study by the charity Witness Confident reckons that most people would just walk on and turn a blind eye. The group reckon most of us feel so out of touch with the criminal justice system we are reluctant to get involved with reporting or tackling crime, especially on the streets. They suggest that by taking a more active role, like snapping incidents, seeking out police officers and being prepared to give witness statements, ordinary people can play a big role in clamping down on violence. But Witness Confident have also come up with some daft suggestions including staging a series of fake muggings to see how people react. I don’t think that’s a great idea. At best they could end up looking a little silly and at worst some poor actor could be beaten senseless by the local neighbourhood watch!

HAVE you ever stayed up on election night to watch the results? It’s an amazing opportunity to watch history being made and with the future of the country at stake it’s more exciting than the Big Brother final and the Eurovision Song Contest combined! Unfortunately though, we might be denied this chance at next year’s election. Up to a quarter of constituencies plan to announce the results the morning after the poll. That’s ridiculous. We can find out the result of The X Factor final just hours after polls close—but the authorities can’t add up election votes until the day after. Maybe we should let The X Factor decide the general election result and you never know— Chico could end up as PM!

THE saga between the UK and Libya took another turn this week when the government announced that it’ll be supporting the families of IRA victims in seeking compensation from the Libyans. The compensation claims exist because during the 1970s and 80s Libya sold the IRA weapons and explosives which were used to kill British soldiers and civilians. If the government supports these claims it begs the question…where does it all stop? Libya was by no means the IRA’s only supplier – some Americans supplied funds. And there were links to the Palestinians. And since Labour came to power we have sold weapons to countries like Indonesia, and Zimbabwe – places where weapons have been used on civilians. Will we be providing compo to their families? The government has to take a long hard look at the bigger picture...and at itself.

QUEEN Victoria’s underwear has been declared part of our national heritage! A pair of the late monarch’s bloomers have been given “national designated status” by the Museums, Libraries and Archives Council –– a special status reserved for artifacts of great cultural importance. Surely the same should go for Daily Sport babe Victoria Lloyd –– after all she’s a modern day legend and queen of our hearts!