Monday, 7 December 2009

Will Gordon turn pirate

OUR Prime Minister appears to have become amphibious. You see, as his party's European election ratings sank beneath the waves, Gordon somehow managed to keep his head above water. This is no small feat. It was the worst election result for Labour since the First World War. On top of that, some Ministers resigned- and some said that Gordy should resign too. But there's something about Gordon which people under estimate. Just when you thinks it's all over, he somehow rallies his troops and the danger recedes. All the same, there's a lot of Labour wreckage from last week's Euro elections. Other parties, like the Tories and UKIP, were the main beneficiaries. Labour's worst result was in the south-west of England, where in parts they came SIXTH behind a Cornish nationalist party that wants the county to be independent from England. If the unsinkable Gordon Brown survives all the way to the election, he'll be more of an escape artist than Houdini. The thing is, he might just do it. He might take heart from some of the stranger parties which won against all odds in the elections. For instance, the Swedish Pirate Party who campaign for free downloads and file sharing on the internet. Pirates in Parliament? Shiver me timbers!
MAYBE it's because I'm a Londoner that I have to walk everywhere at the moment. OK, I'm not actually a Londoner, but I live there and it's been a tough week for travel in the Big Smoke. Arguments over pay and working hours caused a Tube workers' walkout, bringing gridlock to the capital. I've got sympathy for the strikers, they've a tough job and work hard. But it's pretty crap that London gets stuck whenever we can't use the Underground Ever tried driving around central London in the rush hour? Almost impossible. I dread to think what will happen when the Olympics are here and millions of people come to visit. Perhaps the only solution is to make Tube strikes and traffic jams into official Olympic events.
Remember Gary McKinnon? He's the fella facing big charges in the States for hacking into US Navy and NASA computers. Gary, who has Asperger's syndrome, was using his computer to look for UFOs and managed to hack into some pretty sensitive mainframes during his hunt. Back in October, the Home Secretary ruled he should be deported to the US, where he faces 70 years in jail. This week he's been in the High Court contesting this. His lawyers argue that deporting him for such a lengthy prison sentence could seriously damage his health. He's a got a lot of support. It's common for Asperger's sufferers to be unaware of the effect their actions are having so Gary probably didn't realise how much his hacking antics were frightening the spooks in the States. I reckon the US government should employ him rather than imprison him. He's obviously got the skills and the passion for a job in Area 51. But it could put the X Files out of business -if The Truth Is Out There on a computer somewhere, McKinnon WILL find it.
THERE are a lot of worthy causes around: all over the country people are saving the whales, forests and local post offices. But now some passionate activists have launched a new campaign- to save the Essex accent. Proud Essex historians reckon their unique lingo is being diluted. They are worried that the famous dialect of Essex girls like Bond babe Gemma Arterton and Daily Sport stunna Triana is under threat by the creeping advance of Cockney. It's not a moment too soon either. If Parliament has its way, everyone will probably have to sound Scottish when the Labour Party is in power, and like an Eton toff if the Tories take charge. But ONLY Lib Dem Lembit promises to preserve Essex accents forever!
IN the coming months there'll be a host of 'Pride' festivals up and down the country. Every summer gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender communities get together in London, Birmingham and other cities throughout the UK. They are often, bright and vibrant events. But in some other countries things have always been a little more low key. In China, for example, homosexuality has traditionally been a bit of a taboo, until now. A couple of lesbians from the USA set up Shanghai's first ever gay pride festival last week. So it's one more Pride party on the calendar so long as you like Chow Mein that is!

No comments:

Post a Comment