WITH the General Election looming, people are looking at candidates hoping to become MPs. One Lib Dem candidate, Anna Arrowsmith, who’s standing in Gravesham, Kent, has been getting extra attention because of her old job as a porn director. Arty Anna used to produce and direct blue movies for her own company, Easy On The Eye Productions. People have been giving her stick over this, as if shooting feisty flicks will make her a bad MP. Really? Anna has proved herself to be a great candidate who cares about her community. That’s what matters. What do people think she is going to do? Bring Pamela Anderson into parliament to shoot a film called Under The Speaker’s Robe or The Honourable Member? Of course not. She’s a highly-qualified and motivated lady who’d easily her hold her own in the Commons. Her opponent, Tory MP Adam Holloway, has been very fair and says people shouldn’t judge Anna on her previous job. What a sensible chap. Top marks Ads. All that remains to be said is “good luck Anna”. I think I speak on behalf of all Daily Sport readers when I say you’ve got our vote.
I’M not over keen on conferences but last weekend I went to the Liberal Democrat gathering in Birmingham anyways. The high point is always supposed to be the leader’s speech. In political conferences, everyone has to give a standing ovation at the end of it, even if it’s crap. However, I’m happy to report leader Nick Clegg delivered the goods. You know me: I wouldn’t say that if I didn’t mean it, because I’m straight with you in this column about my views. But, really, he did do a good job — it’s probably the best speech I’ve seen him do. And I rather liked the idea of giving everyone the first £10,000 we earn tax free. All in all, it was a bit like Mel Gibson’s famous speech in Braveheart — except at the end nobody cut him up into little pieces as he cried “FREEEEDOM!” So well done, Nicko, you’re a good ’un. I also caught up with our party President Ros Scott. A couple of years ago she beat me in an internal election for this post, and I spent time being grumpy about that. But I must admit she’s doing well. The President’s role is to whip all our party activists into shape, and she is. So, for once, I’m one happy “Lib Dem Lem.” Long live Cleggie! Viva El Presidente! I’m actually on side for once — what a refreshing change!
THERE was panic in the Eastern European nation of Georgia last Sunday. Apparently, a fake TV news report fooled people into thinking Russia had invaded and their president killed! Thousands rushed into the streets in terror and mobile phone networks went down. It was hours before it became clear the dodgy report was a “simulation” intended to show what would happen if the president really was taken out by Putin and his pals. It’s hardly surprising people panicked! It was only in 2008 when Russia really did invade. That time tanks came within 30 miles of the capital, Tbilisi. Perhaps the TV guys should stick to You’ve Been Framed, as You’re Being Invaded just doesn’t seem to half as popular!
THE other day I met a bloke you may have heard of: Neil Armstrong. You know, the first man on the Moon? That’s right—thanks to the American Embassy and a bunch of intellectuals at the Royal Society, I rubbed shoulders with one of Mankind’s greatest heroes. For a man who’s walked on the Moon, Neil’s surprisingly down-to-earth. He’s a friendly fella and boy did he have good stories to tell. One thing did get people at the event wound up though —President Barack Obama’s decision to cancel new Moon missions. He’s pretty much written off any chance of there being another American on the Moon for decades. It’ll probably be Chinese who next follow in Neil’s footsteps —before going on to Mars. It’s a real shame, because the Moon landings inspired a whole generation and led to huge leaps forward in technology. I can still remember the excitement and anticipation around those first missions. I’m with the spacemen on this one — our refusal to go to the Moon is one small step back for man, one giant leap back for Mankind.
THERE are many hazards to being an MP — long hours, late nights, random strangers yelling about things that aren’t your fault and . . . erm . . . being covered in fizzy water. That’s what happened to me on train to mid- Wales at the weekend. A fellow calling himself Martin Palmer sat down opposite me. Unfortunately his water was all shook up. When he opened it, about a million litres of frothing water drenched me to the skin . . . well, OK, a few drops anyway. He was very apologetic. But his watery moment of madness did little harm . . . after all, the last thing anyone could ever accuse me of is being a “wet politician!”
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