Monday, 16 March 2009

Their idiocy has no limit

IN the Government’s endless crusade to protect us from ourselves, they’re now talking about reducing speed limits in rural areas. Most highways have a 60mph limit but ministers are talking about cutting that by 10 or even 20 mph. How utterly patronising. It’s as if the Department of Transport thinks countryfolk are yokels in smocks with straw in their hair –– plus a couple of sheep on the back seat –– and can’t be trusted to control their Morris Minors at anything above walking pace. Maybe next they’ll get Ministers to drive about on old tractors. Let’s put a stop to this nanny state nonsense. Most folk are sensible and drive to the conditions they find on the road. If the Whitehall wonks don’t like it, fine –– we’ll travel by horsepower and they can travel by ass.
WHAT’S the difference between the wrong kind of boobs and the right kind? Well, I’ll leave you to decide what the RIGHT kind are. The WRONG kind are those “boobs” committed by the media when they mis-report something like the Madeleine McCann case, causing pain and anguish. According to a group of MPs called the Culture Media and Sport Committee, some papers have been naughty. Madeline McCann’s dad complained papers focussed on wild stories about him and his wife rather than on the search for their daughter, who is still missing. It’s OK to report news even if it’s awkward for politicians, coppers, businessmen, celebs, or whoever. But when the stuff’s made up, hurtful AND damaging, that’s out of order. I’m pleased to write for a paper that provides information and amusement without wrecking lives through lazy reporting. It has a laugh but NOT at the libellous expense of innocent individuals. And on the lighter side, unlike other papers, the Daily Sport will NEVER be sued for its boobs.
THERE was controversy on Tuesday when protestors tried to disrupt the Royal Anglian Regiment’s homecoming march in Luton. A small bunch of objectors took it upon themselves to hurl abuse at the troops, accusing them of murdering Iraqi civilians. Thankfully they were quickly shouted down by the locals. I’m all for freedom of speech and I voted against this war –– but there’s a time and a place for making your voice heard and this wasn’t it. They’d just got back from one of the two harshest military assignments on earth and simply wanted to be with their families and their community. They were only doing their jobs.
IT looks like American President Barack Obama has his eye on nearby Cuba. He’s not the first U.S. President to be interested in the island. The only thing is, the other Presidents wanted to invade it. In the past, the famous Fidel Castro and his Communist comrades were Public Enemy Number One. The Yanks imposed lots of restrictions on their Cuban neighbour. All that’s changing now, thanks to Barack . Americans will be able to visit their Cuban relatives and bring over money, food and medicine. He’s also opened up the prospect of talking to Raul Castro—who took over as Cuban president from his cigar-smoking brother Fidel. And next time there’s a neighbourly dispute, like the 1962 Cuban missile crisis, they might be able to sort it out over a cigar and a game of craps at the Buena Vista Social Club. “Hasta la vista, Mr President!”

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