Friday, 29 May 2009

EU better get out and vote

I BET you’re getting excited about the Euro elections! Remember? They’re happening next week and I’m sure you’ve been thinking of little else! So next Thursday is your big chance to elect your voice in Brussels. And you better go and do it because someone’s going to get elected! And if you don’t vote you’ve no right to complain about who you get! The Lib Dems, Labour and the Tories have all been taking their campaigns to the airwaves but quite a few smaller parties are running too. One lesser-known one is the Socialist Labour Party –– led by Arthur Scargill.That’s right, the same Scargill who took on ancient former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher in the miners strike 25 years ago. Now he wants to take the fight to the EU –– he thinks it looks after the rich and isn’t helping working families at all. In fact he wants to pull out of Europe completely. He’s got a point. I do reckon we need our European pals though and it might be going a bit far to jump-ship totally! It’ll be interesting to see how comrade Scargill does! But of course you’ll be voting Lib Dem. Won’t you?
EVER been told your underwear is a bit-right wing? Well, there was scandal at Next this week when it turned out that a range of boxershorts on sale featured an image resembling Hitler! The offending undies were designed like a comic strip with many un-related ‘pop-art’ style cartoons –– but a customer got a shock when he noticed that one character looked suspiciously like the Fuhrer. Next claimed it was meant to be Russian dictator Lenin. They promptly withdrew all 5,200 pairs and issued an apology. Just as well! Only a nutter would want to put a dictator next to his knackers. The same goes for ladies underwear –– after all what self respecting Daily Sport girl, would want Saddam all over her bum?
EVER heard of the Korean war? It was a bust-up in the early 50s between Communist North Korea (backed by China and the Soviet Union) and the democratic South Korea (backed by the Americans, the Brits and a bunch of others). The fighting stopped with a ceasefire in 1953 but the war never actually officially ended. Now things could get messy again. On Wednesday the North got shirty with their Southern
neighbours and said they don’t recognise the ceasefire anymore. It all kicked off because the naughty North has been mucking about with atom bombs. Everyone got very worried because they’ve got a nasty dictatorship and big bombs in the hands of bad men is never a good thing. The Americans have started searching ships in the area to stop nuclear materials getting into the North and the South has joined in. This hacked off the Northern bosses and they’ve threatened military action. What needs to happen is for everyone to take a step back and start talking again. Negotiations were going well a few years ago but have broken down since. Like two boisterous blokes in a pub, the North and South need to sit down and talk it through. There’s all the difference between going nuclear in an argument over the footy and
going nuclear across a border.

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